Speaking of poop.
Today was our annual preschool camping field trip to the teacher’s farm. We were out in the woods, splashing in the creek, slinging mud, roasting marshmallows, picnicing, and collecting bugs. What a blast! My boys had a wonderful time. And so did their Mommy.
I am so thankful we didn’t get as close to nature as we did last year. What happened last year you say? Well, as we were leaving the trip, 4 (who was then 3) had to poop. Of course, this is nature. So I yanked off his pants and told him to go in the woods. He looked at me like I was nuts. So I went over and held him up while he squatted. He did his business. And we were sitting there – still in squat mode to make sure there was nothing else coming…when my eyes are diverted to something underneath my son’s bare butt.
It was a snake. Not just any snake, mind you. But the Biggest Snake I’ve Ever Seen outside of a zoo. And I grew up in the woods. So I know a big snake when I see one.
AND IT WAS SLITHERING ON TOP OF THE POOP. Which, if you are paying attention, you realize is about 3 inches below my kid’s bare bottom and three inches in front of my squatted torso.
I stood up, and walked backwards. My son is still dangling in my arms, with his pants around his ankles. We made it back over to where the van was parked before I could catch my breath enough to give a yelp. But I did not, did not, did not scream. Because I didn’t want to alarm the kids. Nor did I want them to think they should be afraid of snakes. The older two kids were in the van waiting on us. They wondered why I was holding their little brother half-naked at arm’s length. I told them to stay put. Then I went to look in the back of the van. For what? I don’t know. But I found the most logical thing I would need in such a crisis.
So I raced back to the woods again and started snapping pictures. All I got was the poop. The snake had slithered away.
And I’d love to post the poop pics, but I will refrain.
Anyway, I’m quite glad our trip today was less adventurous than last year’s. And quite glad they saved the pooping until we got home.
No more poop posts this week. I promise.